How it works
After you sign up, you’ll receive an introductory message followed by the first question. Simply respond naturally via SMS, and the system will guide you through all 12 questions.The system uses AI to evaluate your answers for quality and may ask follow-up questions to get more detailed responses.
The 12 questions
Here are the questions you’ll answer during onboarding:1. Gender and sexuality
1. Gender and sexuality
Question: “how do you describe your gender and sexuality?”Purpose: Understanding your identity helps us match you with compatible people.Example responses:
- “I’m a straight woman”
- “Non-binary, pansexual”
- “Cisgender man, gay”
2. Relationship intent
2. Relationship intent
Question: “are you looking for something long-term or a hookup? if open to both, which way are you leaning?”Purpose: Ensures both people in a match have compatible expectations.Example responses:
- “Looking for a long-term relationship”
- “Open to both, leaning casual”
- “Serious relationship only”
3. Work and education
3. Work and education
Question: “what do you do for work or school, and what’s your education background?”Purpose: Helps match people with similar ambitions and lifestyles.Example responses:
- “Software engineer with a CS degree from Berkeley”
- “Grad student studying neuroscience at NYU”
- “Freelance graphic designer, self-taught”
4. Roots and languages
4. Roots and languages
Question: “where did you grow up, and what languages do you speak?”Purpose: Cultural background and language can be important compatibility factors.Example responses:
- “Grew up in LA, speak English and Spanish”
- “Born in Mumbai, fluent in Hindi and English”
- “Small town in Texas, English only”
5. Kids and pets
5. Kids and pets
Question: “do you have kids or pets, and do you want kids in the future?”Purpose: These are often dealbreakers or must-haves for people.Example responses:
- “No kids, want them someday. Have a dog.”
- “One kid from previous relationship, don’t want more”
- “No kids, don’t want any. Have two cats.”
6. Substances and dealbreakers
6. Substances and dealbreakers
Question: “how do you handle drinking, smoking, and other substances? what are your dealbreakers for a partner on those?”Purpose: Lifestyle compatibility around substances.Example responses:
- “Social drinker, don’t smoke. Dealbreaker: heavy drinking or smoking”
- “Sober, no substances. Partner needs to be sober too.”
- “Drink occasionally, smoke weed sometimes. Open to most things.”
7. Values and beliefs
7. Values and beliefs
Question: “what are your religious and political views? do you want a partner who shares them?”Purpose: Values alignment can be crucial for long-term compatibility.Example responses:
- “Atheist and liberal. Want someone with similar political views.”
- “Christian but not super religious. Politics don’t matter much.”
- “Spiritual but not religious. Want someone open-minded.”
8. Ideal partner vibe
8. Ideal partner vibe
Question: “when you picture your ideal partner, what’s their general vibe: energy, ambition, humor, social style?”Purpose: Personality compatibility matters as much as demographics.Example responses:
- “High energy, ambitious, witty, social butterfly”
- “Calm and grounded, driven but not workaholic, dry humor, introverted”
- “Adventurous, creative, silly sense of humor, balanced social life”
9. Age and height preferences
9. Age and height preferences
Question: “what are your age and height preferences?”Purpose: Physical and age compatibility.Example responses:
- “25-32, height doesn’t matter”
- “28-35, prefer taller than 5’10”
- “30-40, no height preference”
10. Physical preferences
10. Physical preferences
Question: “do you have any preferences regarding ethnicity or body type?”Purpose: Some people have preferences, some don’t. Being honest helps create better matches.Example responses:
- “No preferences on either”
- “Attracted to athletic/fit body types, ethnicity doesn’t matter”
- “Open to all ethnicities and body types”
11. Current city
11. Current city
Question: “what city are you currently living in?”Purpose: Geographic proximity for in-person dates.Example responses:
- “New York City”
- “San Francisco”
- “Austin, Texas”
12. Anything else
12. Anything else
Question: “is there anything else you want me to know about you or what you’re looking for?”Purpose: Catch-all for important information not covered in other questions.Example responses:
- “I’m vegetarian and prefer someone who is too”
- “I travel a lot for work, need someone flexible”
- “Looking for someone who wants to get married in the next few years”
Answer quality evaluation
The system evaluates your answers using AI to ensure they’re substantive. If an answer is too short or vague, you’ll receive a follow-up request asking for more detail.Photo submission
After completing all questions, you’ll be prompted to submit photos:Send at least 2 photos
“send at least 2 photos: 1 close-up and 1 full-body. private and only used by our matchmaker.”Send clear, recent photos that show your face and full body. These help matchmakers understand physical compatibility.
Profile structuring
Behind the scenes, your free-text responses are converted into a structured profile with badges representing your attributes and preferences. This structured data helps matchmakers quickly compare compatibility. See Profile Structuring for technical details.What happens next
Once you submit your ID photo, you’ll receive a confirmation:“your application is in! we’re reviewing it now and will text you when you’re accepted.”
- Review your photos for quality and authenticity
- Verify your ID
- Check that your profile is complete and substantive
- Make an approval decision
Tips for great answers
- Be specific: Instead of “I like music,” say “I’m into indie folk and go to concerts every month”
- Be honest: Authentic responses lead to better matches
- Show personality: Your vibe comes through in how you write
- Don’t overthink it: Conversational, natural responses work best
- Give details: The more context, the better we can match you
Getting started
Back to signup overview
How matching works
Learn about our matchmaking process